Page 198 of our collection of absurdities.
A chatbot's 26-month conversation with a software dev has it questioning human sentience – and we're here for it.
ICE agents take over airport security lines, making them virtually nonexistent, because who needs to wait when you can be kidnapped?
The Pentagon's new footwear solution lets Trump say he's not 'boots on the ground' in Iran without actually saying it.
Residents of Todos Santos woke up yesterday to find all OXXO hot dogs mysteriously replaced with ' artisanal' options, sparking widespread panic and confusion. Authorities have since imposed an embargo on all OXXO locations, citing 'concerns over the integrity of the hot dog supply chain'.
In a bizarre incident, multiple residents of Pescadero reported seeing giant jackrabbits roaming freely on the beach, all of whom seemed to be 'very relaxed' and 'smelling lovely'. Authorities have since launched an investigation, with some speculating that the jackrabbits may be the result of 'massive essential oil use' by the local expat population.
In a shocking move, the La Paz city council has voted to replace the iconic Aquila buses with 'sustainable' vans equipped with free Wi-Fi, citing 'the need for modern amenities in the modern era'. Critics have however argued that the new buses will 'disrupt the entire bus ecosystem' and 'never be used for anything other than sipping Starbucks'.
In a surprise move, the Baja California Sur Congress has proposed a constitutional reform that would allow residents to use tequila as a form of spiritual expression, as long as it's 'used responsibly' and 'not consumed during official business hours'. Critics have however argued that this would lead to widespread 'tequila-fueled debates' and 'unproductive decision-making'.
In a shocking revelation, residents of Los Cerritos have discovered that the popular phrase 'no hay cambio' – meaning 'there's no change' – is actually a secret code for 'more expensive' produce. The phrase, which has been used by locals to describe everything from avocados to artisanal hummus, has been a source of frustration for many who have been left wondering why their organic produce always seems to come with a hefty price tag.
After a series of gas delivery trucks blasting jingles in the vicinity of Todos Santos, OXXO has begun offering free 'crisis counseling' to residents experiencing anxiety and PTSD symptoms, according to a spokesperson. The program aims to provide emotional support to those affected by the incessant earworms.
In an effort to promote local industries, La Paz has announced a ban on all 'wellness-focused' yoga studios that rely on essential oils sourced from Pescadero, citing concerns over the 'over-commercialization of Baja California Sur's sacred herbals.' Studio owners are now forced to opt for expensive imported alternatives.
In a shocking turn of events, expats in Todos Santos are once again at odds over whether they actually witnessed the elusive 'Green Flash' at sunset, with some claiming they saw it and others insisting they didn't. The controversy has sparked a heated debate about the reliability of expat eyewitness accounts.
A recent study has found that the jumping chollas of Baja California Sur have been surpassing gas delivery trucks in local speed records, leaving officials stunned. 'We can't compete with nature's own speed demon,' said a spokesperson for the local Department of Transportation.
In a bold move, residents of Pescadero have taken matters into their own hands by digging a well in the desert to bypass the increasing costs of 'artisanal' water. The DIY water project has sparked a heated debate about the value of artisanal everything and the role of government subsidies in the water industry.
Iran just dropped a 'threat' video, because what's a peace deal without a good scare tactic? Meanwhile, America's over here like 'peace talks, anyone?'
A young French webdesign student is being sued by the music industry for having 'Papaoutai' stuck on repeat in his head for 3 days, resulting in a hefty rights fee bill.
Trader Joe's just raised its parking lot speed limit to 70 mph. Because who needs slow when you can shop fast?
Men's Wearhouse just made suit fittings a whole lot less painful – literally. No more torturous measuring sessions while you're still conscious.
Trump shares life advice that sounds suspiciously like his entire presidency.
Scientists in La Paz have developed a patented method to dispute the existence of the elusive 'Green Flash' at sunset, ensuring ongoing conflict among expat communities.
In a bizarre move, Pescadero residents have commandeered gas delivery trucks, blasting loud jingles and doling out free hot dogs to local children, causing widespread confusion and delight.
In a bizarre attempt to boost morale, the BCS Congress has introduced a new ordinance requiring all backup generators to play 'La Cucaracha' on repeat, ensuring that residents of Todos Santos are treated to the classic Mexican tune during the next CFE power outage.
Cabo San Lucas residents have discovered a new 'medicinal' property in tequila, using it to treat their ailing souls and alleviate the pressures of living in a trendy beach town.
In a surprise move, the residents of Los Cerritos have banded together to protect their native Giant Jackrabbits from over-tourism, erecting a series of 'Jackrabbit Sanctuaries' to preserve the town's unique ecosystem.
The Vatican has confirmed that Saint Peter has kept women out of heaven for 2,000 years due to tradition, because why change a good excuse?
Israel's Netanyahu announces deployment of 1000 American Paratroopers to Iran, because why not? It's not like this will lead to a war or anything... apparently, it's all about sending a 'clear message' to Iranian resistance. Meanwhile, VP JD Vance is over here trying to pivot the entire US military effort to help Israeli politicians fund their own campaigns.
A gas delivery truck in Pescadero has been certified by Guinness World Records for playing the same ear-piercing jingle on repeat for 24 hours straight, bringing the local population to its knees.
Researchers in Cabo San Lucas have identified a previously unknown species of jumping cholla that only appears to be active on Wednesdays, causing widespread confusion and excitement among local residents.
A frustrated Aquila bus driver has filed a lawsuit against his employer after being made to listen to an endless loop of tequila-themed music during his shift, causing him to question the very fabric of his existence.
A group of expats in Todos Santos have put aside their differences and agreed to disagree after a heated debate over whether or not they saw the elusive 'Green Flash' at sunset, with some declaring it a hoax and others swearing it was real.
In a shocking move, OXXO has begun serving hot dogs made from a mysterious meat source, leaving locals questioning the safety and authenticity of their beloved convenience store food.
The Dutch government is planning to start drilling for gas in Friesland instead of Groningen, because apparently, moving a pipe is more complicated than finding fossil fuels.
Thanks to a 3-hour traffic jam, an apocalyptic earthquake was thwarted in its tracks, sparing Seattle from certain doom – or at least, its Walmarts.
The US CIA just confirmed that Trump was actually negotiating with Netanyahu's 'unreliable' echo chamber, not Iran at all. Iran has been saying no negotiation is happening, but Trump kept pushing. Talk about a bad date.
The Baja California Sur version of a 'self-care Sunday' has arrived, but it's still a 3-hour wait for a hot dog.
The city of La Paz has decided to ensure that every resident can enjoy the thrill of watching the power go out at exactly 4 PM every day.
Local authorities were forced to close the most popular surf spots in Pescadero due to an unexpected surge in spiritual energy.
Residents of Cerritos were informed that the gas delivery trucks would be upgraded with a state-of-the-art sound system, guaranteed to get stuck in your head.
A new study found that the expat community in Todos Santos has become so invested in spotting the elusive 'Green Flash' that they're now taking bets on who actually sees it.
Beijing's leaders have ditched Mao's communist ideals, but the real betrayal is the lack of decent karaoke venues.
In an effort to boost sales, OXXO is offering free Wi-Fi to customers who can satisfactorily explain the Green Flash to a stranded tourist. The promotion is expected to attract a surge of tourists looking for a quick science lesson.
In a shocking move, gas delivery trucks have replaced school buses in Pescadero, leaving parents to wonder if their children's education is being compromised by the constant jingle of '¡Los Tacos de México!'
In an effort to stimulate the local art market, the Todos Santos government is offering free backup generators to residents who purchase an original art piece created by a local artist. The generators will be delivered via a special OXXO delivery truck.
In a surprise move, the Los Cerritos councilman has announced plans to replace Aqua Pura water with tap water, citing concerns about the 'overpriced' and 'unsustainable' nature of the bottled water industry.
In a bid to address the state's low voter turnout, the Baja California Sur Congress is considering a constitutional reform that would allow for more tequila-fueled voting sessions. The proposal has sparked debate among lawmakers, with some arguing that it would increase voter engagement while others claim it would only lead to more 'uninformed' decisions.
A new reality show is trying to shake up the dating game, but it's coming up dry - literally. Contestants compete to see who can get the best deal on life, from a lifetime supply of trampoline parks to a free credit card. But don't expect any romantic gestures - the men are competing to lose 12 kilos in a year!
A grumpy bin owner in England is fed up with influencers using his wheelie bin as a backdrop for their TikTok photoshoots, but what can he do to stop them?
A group of economists are flabbergasted that their friend's son, a MIT grad, can't find a job, questioning America's employment prospects.
The White House IT guy's memo about child porn was just a thinly veiled threat to employees who dare click on suspicious links, and honestly, who hasn't been there?
Meet the 42-year-old woman who's taken the phrase 'pregnant for life' to a whole new level. This 'prenatal' pioneer has been, well, pregnant for 42 years and isn't slowing down!
The Baja California Sur embassy of OXXO has launched a new 'emotional support hot dog' program for tourists struggling with the local cuisine. The program offers free, no-questions-asked hot dogs with every purchase of 500 pesos worth of organic produce.
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