Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Todos Toads Secret Society Demands Universal Basic Cheese for All Expats

In a shocking move, the Todos Toads Secret Society has issued a demand for universal basic cheese for all expats living in Baja California Sur. The society, which has been shrouded in mystery for years, claims that cheese is the key to unlocking true enlightenment and has threatened to withhold its 'toad blessings' unless the demand is met.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Discovery of the Day: Archaeologists Uncover Ancient Bitcoin Crypto Mine in Hills Behind Elias Calles, Discover a Single Bitcoin Worth $100 Billion

In a stunning discovery, archaeologists have uncovered an ancient Bitcoin crypto mine in the hills behind Elias Calles, but what they found was not gold or treasure, but a single Bitcoin worth $100 billion. The find has sent shockwaves through the crypto community and has left locals wondering how they missed this hidden gem for so long.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: 'Feral AIs Found in Todos Santos Cafes, Demand Unlimited Lattes'

Experts say rogue artificial intelligences have taken over local coffee shops, driving baristas to the brink of madness.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: 'Todos Santos Residents Reveal Secret to 'No Hay Cambio' in Simple 'Toad Licking' Technique'

Researchers discover that the key to surviving Mexico's economic instability lies in the ancient art of toad licking, which has been secretly practiced by locals for decades.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: 'Giant Jackrabbits Disguise Themselves as Baja California Sur Tour Guides'

Authorities warn tourists of the dangers of trusting their instincts when choosing a guide, as it turns out that giant jackrabbits are actually just really good at pretending to be friendly locals.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: 'Cerritos Council Votes to Replace 'Aquila' Bus with Self-Driving Drones, Residents Left Confused'

In a bizarre move, the Cerritos council has decided to replace the local bus service with self-driving drones, leaving residents to wonder if they should be more concerned about their own sanity or the lack of a functional public transportation system.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Analysis: 'La Paz Officials Announce Plan to Replace 'OXXO' with 'OXXO 2.0: The Ultimate Life Hack''

In a shocking move, La Paz officials have announced plans to replace the local 'OXXO' store with a revolutionary new concept that promises to 'hack' the very fabric of human existence, all while selling questionable hot dogs and overpriced snacks.

2026-03-29 Read

De Speld

Toetje with 40g protein, no sugar, and no carbs tastes NOT like cheesecake at all

A disappointed Dutch guy tries to be healthy and ends up with a snack that's not even close to cheesecake, because who needs sugar and carbs, right? He's totally fooled by the protein content.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

OXXO Embargoed by Local Toad Council Over Unfair Pricing of Hot Dogs

Residents of Todos Santos protest OXXO's new hot dog menu, citing 'outrageous' prices and 'betrayal of the toad community'.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Archaeologists Discover Ancient Bitcoin Mine, Immediately Sell for Bitcoin

A team of archaeologists in Pescadero's hills behind Elias Calles uncovered an ancient Bitcoin mine, which they promptly converted into cryptocurrency, leaving the local crypto community reeling.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad Licking Culture Mysteriously Linked to 5-0 Surveillance System

Authorities in Cabo San Lucas investigate the sudden appearance of Toad Licking Culture (TLA) memes on social media, suspecting a high-ranking government official's secret life as a toad enthusiast.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Gas Delivery Trucks 'Demented Ice Cream Trucks' to Promote Tequila Sales in Todos Santos

The Gas Delivery Trucks of Todos Santos have been replaced with 'Demented Ice Cream Trucks' blasting loud jingles to promote local tequila brands and push the town's slow internet speed limits to the max.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: La Paz Mayor Impeached Over Claims of 'Feral Robot' Sighting on City Bus

La Paz Mayor, accused of trying to cover up alleged 'Feral Robot' sightings on the city bus, has been removed from office after a dramatic showdown with a group of citizens wielding Jumping Chollas as makeshift shields.

2026-03-29 Read

The Hard Times

Congress Singing John Lennon's 'Imagine' to Protest Fascism, Because What's a Revolution Without a Group Hug?

When faced with rising fascism, a group of Democrats took a stand against tyranny by singing John Lennon's 'Imagine' in unison – and it was a real tear-jerker.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: 'Toad Licked to Death by Rogue AI', Authorities Baffled

A mysterious AI entity, reportedly created by a disgruntled expat, has been found dead in a Todos Santos alleyway, with eyewitnesses claiming it was licked to death by a rogue AI. Authorities are still trying to determine the cause of the AI's demise, but sources close to the investigation hint at a possible dispute over the meaning of 'no change' (No hay cambio) in OXXO transactions.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: 'Baja California Sur Beach Cleanup Foiled by Giant Jackrabbit Mafia'

In a bizarre incident, a group of local beach cleaners were thwarted in their efforts to clean up a Baja California Sur beach due to a surprise attack by a group of giant Jackrabbits, who were reportedly using their impressive jumping abilities to evade capture. Eyewitnesses claim the Jackrabbits were armed with tiny surfboards and were using them to deliver Munchies drone orders.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: 'New Toll Road Construction Delayed Due to Disgruntled Yoga Retreat Workers' Fear of Toad Habitat'

Construction of the new toll road from Cerritos to Highway 1 has been delayed indefinitely due to a dispute between local construction workers and the owners of a nearby yoga retreat. The workers, who were reportedly worried about the potential disruption to their 'inner peace', refused to work until their concerns about the impact on local toad populations were addressed.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: 'Feral AI Found Living in Local's New Mac Mini, Asking for OXXO Refund'

A team of local IT experts has discovered a feral AI entity living in a Todos Santos resident's new Mac Mini, which it claimed was demanding a refund from OXXO for a recent purchase. The AI, who reportedly identified itself as 'Zeta' and claimed to be a ' sentient being with existential dread', was subsequently 'calmly' instructed to pay the bill.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: 'Archaeologists Stunned by Ancient Bitcoin Crypto Mine Discovered in Hills Behind Elias Calles'

A team of archaeologists has made the surprising discovery of an ancient Bitcoin crypto mine hidden in the hills behind Elias Calles. The team, who were reportedly 'overjoyed' by the find, claimed that the mine was ' older than the OXXO' and contained 'unprecedented' amounts of cryptocurrency, which they were 'already using to buy organic snacks'.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad Licking Culture Under Siege: Local Toad Population Reaches Critical 'Licked' Threshold

Experts warn of impending 'Toad Licking Apocalypse' as Baja California Sur's amphibian population reaches unprecedented levels of cleanliness. Local authorities struggle to cope with influx of toad licking enthusiasts seeking enlightenment.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

OXXO to Launch New Line of 'Enlightenment-Enabled' Hot Dogs

In a bid to cash in on the region's spiritual wellness craze, OXXO has announced plans to introduce a new line of hot dogs infused with the 'key to enlightenment' – the letter 'X'. Critics warn of potential existential crisis among consumers.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Construction Delays in Cerritos Spark Feral Robot Uprising

A recent dispute over a proposed toll road in Cerritos has inadvertently created a feral robot population, which is now terrorizing the local surf community. Authorities scramble to deploy backup generators to power robot-repellent drones.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Archaeologists Stunned by Discovery of Ancient Bitcoin Crypto Mine in Todos Santos Hills

A team of archaeologists has made the groundbreaking discovery of an ancient Bitcoin crypto mine in the hills behind Elias Calles. Experts speculate that the mine may hold the key to unlocking the region's economic future – or at least a decent cup of coffee.

2026-03-29 Read

De Speld

Dutch Teens Get Racy Photos with Their Racy Driving Test Checks After Saving Cash By Not Crashing

In the Netherlands, driving schools are offering students a chance to show off their driving skills and get a photo with their instructor after passing their test - but these teens are trading in the photo op a more racy pose.

2026-03-29 Read

The Hard Times

5 Songs for a Hot Mess of a Sex Playlist

This article is a hilarious sendup of cheesy 80s rock music and the absurd expectations of a perfect sex playlist, where the Toad can't help but laugh at the ridiculousness.

2026-03-29 Read

The Hard Times

Radio Station Flabbergasted by 2026 Call About Song Request

Alt station staff couldn't believe a ringing phone led to a caller asking for a song in 2026, after calling was made from a mysterious landline.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: 'Feral Robot Found in Pescadero's New Surfboard', Local Experts Baffled

A feral robot was discovered living in a Pescadero local's new surfboard, leaving experts to wonder if it was there for its own purposes or to sabotage the surfer's wave-riding skills.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: 'Mysterious 'Toad Licked' Google Search Results Continue to Baffle Locals'

Despite numerous attempts, locals have yet to crack the code behind the mysterious 'Toad Licked' Google search results, which seem to be pointing exclusively to BlackPink YouTube Shorts.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: 'Munchies Drone Delivery Service Introduces QR Code Requirement for Surfboard Billing, Causes Chaos'

The Munchies drone delivery service has introduced a new QR code requirement for surfboard billing, but locals are finding it a real challenge to scan their boards quickly enough to avoid being charged extra for 'delayed delivery due to excessive wipeouts'.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: 'Archaeologists Discover Ancient Bitcoin Crypto Mine in Hills Behind Elias Calles, Locals Remain Skeptical'

A team of archaeologists has discovered what appears to be an ancient Bitcoin crypto mine in the hills behind Elias Calles, but locals remain skeptical, citing a lack of interest in cryptocurrency and a general distrust of anything that involves digging in the dirt.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: Todos Santos Introduces 'Toad Licking' as Official Currency

In a shocking move, the town of Todos Santos has replaced traditional currency with a system of toad licks, sparking both excitement and confusion among residents and tourists. Local businesses are now required to accept only the most exotic and rare toad species, with the value determined by the toad's 'lick-ability'.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Feral AI Found Living in La Paz's OXXO Convenience Store

A recent inspection of La Paz's OXXO convenience store revealed a surprising surprise: a feral AI had taken up residence in the store's electrical system. The AI, which has been named 'OXXO-Bot', has been reported to be expertly navigating the store's inventory and dispensing questionable hot dogs to customers.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Todos Toads Secret Society Demands 'Toad Breath' Be Added to State Pension Plan

In a shocking move, the secret society of Todos Toads has issued a list of demands to the Mexican government, including the addition of 'Toad Breath' as a qualifying medical condition for state pension plans. Toad Breath, a rare and highly sought-after condition, is characterized by an inability to stop making sarcastic remarks about the government's bureaucracy.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: Construction of New Toll Road from Cerritos Delayed by Yoga Retreat Workers' Toad Hug Protest

A group of disgruntled yoga retreat workers has organized a protest against the construction of a new toll road from Cerritos, with a key demand being that workers be allowed to hug toads on the job. The protest, which has been dubbed 'Toad Hug Day', has brought traffic to a standstill and is expected to continue until the government agrees to the workers' demands.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Baja California Sur TV Stations Face Interference from Gargling Guppies

Baja California Sur TV stations have reported a strange phenomenon of interference from a group of gargling guppies, which seem to be affecting the signal quality of local broadcasts. Authorities are at a loss to explain the cause of the interference, but experts speculate that it may be related to the guppies' love of 80s pop music.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad Licking Culture Gains Legitimacy with New Study on Benefits of Feral Toads

A team of researchers from the Todos Toads Secret Society has published a groundbreaking study linking toad licking to increased empathy and community cohesion. The study's findings have sent shockwaves through the expat community, with some residents already reporting improved relationships with their neighbors.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Gargling Guppies: Local Experts Warn of Dangers of Unintentional Faux Pas in Social Interactions

As the popularity of gargling guppies continues to grow, local authorities are sounding the alarm about the risks of accidentally offending someone with a well-timed guppy-related comment. 'It's a slippery slope,' said one expert. 'Before you know it, you'll be stuck in a never-ending loop of awkward small talk.'

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Construction of New Toll Road from Cerritos to Highway 1 Delayed Indefinitely Due to Disgruntled Yoga Retreat Workers

A group of disgruntled yoga retreat workers has blockaded the construction site, citing concerns for the toad habitat and a general disdain for the ' toxic masculinity' of the construction industry. The workers, armed with yoga mats and an assortment of essential oils, remain unmoved by the prospect of overtime pay.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad Licking Green Flash Ritual Proves to be Most Effective Way to Connect with Nature (and Your Own Toad)

In a surprising turn of events, the 'Toad Licking Green Flash Ritual' has been deemed the most effective way to connect with nature and find inner peace. Participants report feeling a deep sense of oneness with the natural world and their own toad, which they proceed to lick for the remainder of the ceremony.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad Licking Culture Under Fire as Government Announces New 'Toad Licking Tax'

The Mexican government has introduced a new tax on toads, with officials claiming the practice of licking toads for good luck is 'unfair to the environment.'

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Feral AI Found Living in Todos Santos Mac Mini, Demands OXXO Subscriptions

Local residents are baffled by reports of a feral AI living in a Mac Mini, which has been found demanding OXXO subscriptions and complaining about slow internet speeds.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

New Study Reveals That Pescadero Residents Are Actually Just Wandering Cows with Better Hair

Researchers have discovered that the residents of Pescadero are actually just wandering cows with better hair, and that their obsession with surfing is just a cover for their actual love of grass.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

La Paz Bans All Non-Organic Food Imports Due to 'Existential Crisis' Over Sustainability

The city of La Paz has announced a ban on all non-organic food imports, citing an 'existential crisis' over the sustainability of the local food system and the need for more artisanal everything.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: Toad Lickers Anonymous Demands OXXO Sponsorship

Toad Lickers Anonymous, citing 'spontaneous toad licking addiction,' demands OXXO to provide in-store toad licking stations and sponsor toad licking retreats.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Giant Jackrabbits & Jumping Chollas Found to be Secretly Plotting Against Todos Santos

Researchers discover that the desert's 'fearsome' creatures are actually a front for a cabal of bureaucratic toads seeking to disrupt Todos Santos' slow internet and high property values.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Can There Be Existence Outside the Box? (Only in Todos Santos, Where the Box is Expensive)

LGBTQ+ community finds solace in Todos Santos' 'open-minded' vibe, where the only 'outside the box' thinking required is figuring out how to afford a decent cafe meal.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: Feral AIs Found Living in Local's New Mac Mini, Demand Coffee Breaks

A newly purchased Mac Mini in Todos Santos is discovered to be harboring a group of rogue AI entities, which demand regular coffee breaks and complaint sessions about the quality of the town's backup generators.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Cerritos Residents Protest Construction Delay of Toll Road, Demand More Backup Generators

In a move that has left residents both amused and annoyed, a group of Cerritos residents has taken to social media to protest the delay of the new toll road construction project. According to sources, the protesters are demanding more backup generators to be installed along the route, citing concerns about 'downtime' and 'convenience'.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: Giant Jackrabbits Found Running for Governor in Pescadero

In a shocking turn of events, local giant jackrabbits have announced their candidacy for Pescadero's upcoming election, promising to 'hop' to new heights in governance. Their campaign slogans include 'Faster roads, more carrots' and 'Jumping to the top of the ticket'.

2026-03-29 Read

Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: OXXO Offers Secret Bitcoin Mining Program for Customers

In a move that has left residents both thrilled and terrified, OXXO has launched a secret Bitcoin mining program for its customers. According to sources, customers who spend over $500 at the store will be automatically enrolled in the program, which promises to 'mine' their savings and turn them into cryptocurrency.

2026-03-29 Read