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Satire Feeds + Toad Originals

Toad's Satire

The Onion, Babylon Bee, El Deforma, Hard Times, and more — mixed with Pesky Toad Originals about off-grid solar, gophers, washboard roads, and West Cape politics.

Pesky Toad Original Score 10/10

Local AI Insights: Global Oil Prices Soar Amidst Conflict; Cerritos Surf Report 'Firing.'

As international conflicts drive oil prices to unprecedented highs, economists warn of global inflation. Meanwhile, in Cerritos, locals report perfect swells, rendering discussions of macroeconomics and gas prices utterly irrelevant.

All Laughs

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[ the onion ] 2026-07-13

RFK Jr. Seeks Immortality by Exposing His Perineum to Solar Rays.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reportedly sought godhood by baring his perineum atop a solar tower, believing the sun's rays would grant him immortality. He seems confident his new eternal life will provide ample time to recover from the rather significant burns sustained. Priorities, you know.

Score: 10/10 Read Article →
[ cloud gadget ] 2026-07-13

Nugget Ice Maker: Because Your Drinks Deserve Wi-Fi

Behold, the GE Profile Opal 2.0 nugget ice maker, a $449 marvel that ensures your margaritas are perfectly chilled via Wi-Fi. Who needs to remember ice when your smart home can schedule its production? The expats in Todos Santos are already debating its artisanal authenticity over their third poolside paloma.

Score: 9/10 Read Article →
[ cloud luxury ] 2026-07-13

Unitree GD01: Your $650K Personal Mech for Baja Traffic

Why settle for a mere SUV when you can navigate the potholes of Baja in Unitree's GD01 manned mecha suit? This $650,000 transforming robot promises industrial operations, rescue, or just making a dramatic entrance to your private cenote. Forget four-wheel drive; now you can have four-legged crawl mode, because why not?

Score: 9/10 Read Article →
[ cloud woo woo ] 2026-07-13

Magical Weight Loss: Just Cast a Spell (No Diet Required)

Tired of kale? For a mere pittance on Etsy, you too can achieve your 'dream body' with a 'Same Day Casting' weight loss spell. Forget exercise; simply manifest rapid fat burning and boost your confidence, all while enjoying another artisanal taco. The Pescadero wellness gurus swear by it, claiming it aligns their chakras *and* their waistlines.

Score: 9/10 Read Article →
[ the daily mash ] 2026-07-13

Britons Declare Sun Officially Overcooked, Demand Perpetual Gloom

Having braved a few weeks of actual sunshine, the good people of Britain have collectively decided they've had enough and are now lobbying for NASA to permanently ditch the sun. Apparently, the horror of sweating and Asda running out of ice lollies outweighs the minor inconvenience of global extinction.

Score: 9/10 Read Article →
[ cloud billionaire ] 2026-07-13

Zuckerberg Admits Meta AI Progress 'Slower Than Expected'

Well, another day, another billionaire admitting his grand visions aren't quite panning out as planned. Mark Zuckerberg, in a recent internal meeting, reportedly confessed that Meta's massive AI agent development efforts haven't 'accelerated in the way that we expected,' despite laying off thousands and pouring billions into the endeavor. Meanwhile, the surf in Todos Santos is absolutely firing, and frankly, nobody down here cares about Silicon Valley's self-inflicted drama.

Score: 9/10 Read Article →
[ cloud tech ] 2026-07-13

PettiChat: Finally, Your Dog Can Tell You About Its existential dread

The PettiChat collar, a $118 AI pet translator, claims a miraculous 94.6% accuracy in deciphering your pet's deepest thoughts and translating your mundane commands into their 'instinctive sounds'. Never again will you wonder if your chihuahua is judging your life choices, or if that bark meant 'walkies' or 'the void stares back.' The Todos Santos dog whisperers are lining up to confirm what they already knew.

Score: 9/10 Read Article →
[ el deforma ] 2026-07-13

FIFA To Gift World Cup Title to Atlético San Pancho: "It's Basically In The Rulebook"

Apparently, FIFA is so impressed with Atlético San Pancho's 'heart' and 'representation of San Vicente' that they've decided to hand them the World Cup. It seems the new rulebook states that enough street-kicking children can practically guarantee a championship, along with 'convenient' VAR, 'easy' rivals, and 'intimidated' referees. Honestly, who needs talent when you have 'loopholes'?

Score: 9/10 Read Article →
[ cloud crypto desk ] 2026-07-13

BBC Exposes Crypto-Bros' Grand Plans, Baja Unfazed by Digital Empires

A new BBC documentary, "The Tech Billionaire Takeover," is reportedly dissecting the ambitious visions of crypto billionaires, highlighting their desires to replace traditional banking and government with blockchain-based systems. The film explores how these tech magnates are pushing for "decentralized" structures, even attempting to establish their own micronations, all while the folks down here in Baja are mostly concerned with whether the morning's fishing trip was fruitful.

Score: 9/10 Read Article →
[ de speld ] 2026-07-13

Medical Students' New 'Burnout' Clerkship: Learning to Thrive on Exhaustion.

In a bold move to prepare future doctors for the harsh realities of healthcare, a medical center is introducing a 'burnout' clerkship. Students will learn vital skills like 'singleness to meaning' and 'how to maintain unmotivated performance.' Because, as we all know, the best way to fix a strained healthcare system is to teach doctors how to work while perpetually overstressed.

Score: 9/10 Read Article →