Apparently, FIFA is so impressed with Atlético San Pancho's 'heart' and 'representation of San Vicente' that they've decided to hand them the World Cup. It seems the new rulebook states that enough street-kicking children can practically guarantee a championship, along with 'convenient' VAR, 'easy' rivals, and 'intimidated' referees. Honestly, who needs talent when you have 'loopholes'?