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humor The Onion 2026-07-13

NBA Commissioner Adam Silver Blames Declining Ratings on His Terrifying Appearance

Adam Silver bravely admits his unsettling, translucent, beady-eyed visage might be why people aren't watching the NBA anymore. He believes his 'spiderlike physique' is scaring off viewers, which is a valid concern if your goal is to look less like a crypt keeper and more like someone who enjoys basketball.

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