humor
The Onion
2026-07-13
NBA Commissioner Adam Silver Blames Declining Ratings on His Terrifying Appearance
Adam Silver bravely admits his unsettling, translucent, beady-eyed visage might be why people aren't watching the NBA anymore. He believes his 'spiderlike physique' is scaring off viewers, which is a valid concern if your goal is to look less like a crypt keeper and more like someone who enjoys basketball.