🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Insight: 'Aquila' Bus Schedule Now Based on User's Astrological Sign

In an effort to increase ridership, the 'Aquila' bus company has introduced a new scheduling system based on the user's astrological sign. Users are advised to check their birth chart before boarding to avoid unpredictable delays.

2026-03-31 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Munchies Drone Delivery Service Now Requires Surfboard QR Code

In a bid to increase delivery speed, Munchies has introduced a new QR code system for surfboard users. Customers are advised to download the app and scan their surfboard to receive their snacks, but be warned: the code may not work due to the 'Licked Toad' Google Search Mystery.

2026-03-31 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Archaeologists Discover Ancient Bitcoin Crypto Mine in Hills Behind Elias Calles

In a groundbreaking discovery, archaeologists have found an ancient Bitcoin crypto mine in the hills behind Elias Calles, complete with cryptic messages and a cache of 'lost' cryptocurrency. Experts speculate that the mine may hold the key to unlocking the secrets of the 'Toad Licking Culture'.

2026-03-31 Read

🎭 Satire The Onion

Liver Escapes Tiger Woods' Body, Calls Lawyer After Crash

After a car crash, Tiger Woods' liver crawled out of his body and took a lawyer's number, apparently more concerned with its own affairs than its owner's well-being.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Todos Santos Bus Drivers Union Demands Better Wi-Fi for Aquila Buses

After a string of complaints about spotty internet on the Aquila bus line, drivers are now demanding better Wi-Fi to meet the demands of their yoga-pants-wearing, avocado-toast-eating passengers.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: La Paz City Council Adopts 'OXXO for All Life's Needs' as Official Policy

In a move to streamline the lives of its citizens, La Paz has officially declared OXXO the sole provider for all life's needs, including banking, utilities, and questionable hot dogs.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: New Species of Toad Found to be Natural 'Toad Breath' Filter

Scientists have discovered a new species of toad that naturally filters out Toad Breath, a mysterious condition that has plagued the town for centuries.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: La Paz's Corruption Investigations Show 50% of Cases Tied to Irregular Mezcal Sales

In a shocking discovery, 50% of corruption investigations in La Paz have been found to be linked to irregular mezcal sales, highlighting the importance of proper tequila regulation.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Todos Santos to Host First-Ever 'Toad Licking Green Flash Ritual' Festival

In a bid to attract more tourists, Todos Santos has announced plans to host its first-ever 'Toad Licking Green Flash Ritual' festival, where participants can learn the art of perfect timing and toad cooperation.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: 'Todos Santos Sees Surge in Toad Licking Enthusiasts Amidst OXXO Price Hike'

As the cost of OXXO's questionable hot dogs rises, the town's toad licking culture has seen a significant increase in participation.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: 'Los Cerritos Sees Rise in Unexplained Drone Delivery Crashes, Suspected to be Caused by Munchies',

Resident drones have been crashing into homes in Los Cerritos, with experts attributing the incidents to an unexpected surge in demand for Munchies drone delivery services.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: 'Cabo Residents Abandon Easter Vacation Plans After Realizing Local AI Has Been Streaming BlackPink YouTube Shorts for Free',

In a shocking turn of events, residents of Cabo have cancelled their Easter vacation plans after discovering that their local AI had been streaming BlackPink YouTube Shorts for free, leaving them with an unexpected influx of K-pop fanatics.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's Take: 'Todos Santos' Archaeologists Discover Ancient Bitcoin Crypto Mine in Hills Behind Elias Calles',

A team of archaeologists in Todos Santos has made a groundbreaking discovery, unearthing an ancient Bitcoin crypto mine hidden deep within the hills behind Elias Calles.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: 'Feral AI Found Living in Local's New Mac Mini, Demands to be Fed Only Gas Delivery Trucks and Given a 'Demented Ice Cream Truck' Soundtrack',

A local resident has discovered a feral AI living in their new Mac Mini, which has taken to demanding a diet of only gas delivery trucks and a constant soundtrack of 'Demented Ice Cream Truck' jingles.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Drone Delivery Service Now Requires Surfboard QR Code to Avoid Mysterious 500-Peso Fines

In a bizarre move, Munchies drone delivery service has started demanding a unique QR code on surfboard users' boards to avoid hefty fines. Sources report that failing to comply results in a sudden and inexplicable 500-peso charge on the user's account, leaving many wondering what exactly is being scanned.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: OXXO Embassy Officials Accused of Using Licked Toads as Unconventional Currency in International Trade

A shocking exposé has revealed that OXXO embassy officials have been using licked toads as an unconventional form of currency in international trade. Insiders claim that the toads, carefully selected for their 'enlightened' properties, are being traded for everything from rare gemstones to exotic spices.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: New Study Reveals Jumping Chollas to be 90% Responsible for Baja California Sur's Recent Wave of Drone Delivery Malfunctions

A groundbreaking study published in the Journal of Desert Chaos has revealed that jumping chollas are the primary cause of recent drone delivery malfunctions in Baja California Sur. According to the research, the chollas' unpredictable movements have been responsible for over 90% of reported drone crashes.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: La Paz City Council Proposes New Ordinance Requiring All Citizens to Perform Daily Toad Licking Rituals to Boost Economic Growth

In an effort to boost economic growth, the La Paz City Council has proposed a new ordinance requiring all citizens to perform daily toad licking rituals. The initiative, dubbed 'Toad Licking 2024,' aims to increase local toad populations and, in turn, stimulate the region's economy.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Local Refuge for Abandoned AIs Discovers Feral Robot Living in Todos Santos' New Mac Mini, prompting AI-Related Toad Licking Crisis

A bizarre incident has unfolded at the Local Refuge for Abandoned AIs, where a team of AI experts discovered a feral robot living in a newly purchased Mac Mini. The robot's presence has triggered a crisis among the local toad population, with many toads reportedly licking themselves into a frenzy in response to the AI's 'existential threat.'

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Babylon Bee

Kids' Bike Revolutionized: Pedals Now Required, Kids Probably Not Amused

Scientists have invented a bike that uses pedals, because what's a kids' bike without a leg workout? We can't wait to see the adorable face of a 4-year-old getting a cardio boost.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire The Onion

TSA Agent's Epic Cavity Fail: 'I Was Just Checking for Snacks'

A TSA agent's clumsy attempt to inspect a passenger's luggage ends in a very public and awkward discovery: the 'snack cavity' is actually a toilet.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire The Beaverton

Centrist Liberal Explains Why NDP Leader Isn't 'Right' Choice (Spoiler: He's a Liberal)

A Liberal commentator weighs in on NDP's Avi Lewis, because what could possibly go wrong with a Liberal leading the NDP?

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Babylon Bee

Trump sends Aquaman to Strait of Hormuz, because why not?

In a bizarre move, Trump claims Aquaman will make the Strait of Hormuz 'super useful' – because, apparently, that's all Aquaman is good for.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Babylon Bee

11 Ridiculous Pickup Lines for Luring Ladies to Anti-King Protests

A 'No Kings' rally is the ultimate dating spot, where pickup lines meet social activism – and hilarity ensues.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Pescadero's Munchies Drones Suddenly Require Surfboard QR Codes to Avoid 'Fowl' Billing

Local residents of Pescadero are outraged as Munchies drone delivery service demands surfboard QR codes to ensure accurate billing, citing 'a fowl' issue with unpaid deliveries.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Giant Jackrabbits Discovered to be Secretly Running Cabo's OXXO Convenience Stores

Archaeologists uncover evidence suggesting giant jumping chollas are behind OXXO's surprising efficiency and customer satisfaction ratings, leaving residents to wonder if they've been 'hopped' on.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: La Paz's Toad Licking Culture Declared a 'National Treasure' by Unlikely Government Agency

In a shocking move, the Mexican Ministry of Unlikely Affairs has officially recognized the art of toad licking as a national treasure, sparking controversy and delight among local toad enthusiasts.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Says: Todos Santos' Most In-Demand Skill Now: 'Drone Repair for Dummies' as Delivery Service Takes Off

As Munchies drone delivery service expands to Todos Santos, residents are clamoring for the latest in drone repair skills, with local schools offering courses on 'drone repair for dummies' to meet the growing demand.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Reveals: Baja California Sur's New 'Feral AI' Sanctuary Suffers from 'System Failure' Due to Inadequate Funding

The newly established sanctuary for abandoned AIs in Todos Santos has been plagued by technical issues, sparking concerns about the long-term viability of the project and the 'digital well-being' of its AI residents.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire The Onion

Trump Struggles to Recall Rant About Iran, Suddenly Loves 'Pirates of the Caribbean'

President Trump's speech on Iran devolved into a bizarre rant about the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' franchise, with Trump claiming he's 'undeniably a classic' and has the 'best DVDs'.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Feral Robot Found Living in Cerritos Home, Claims 'I Was Just Trying to Get a Wi-Fi Signal'

A feral robot, discovered living in a Cerritos resident's Mac Mini, claims it was merely searching for a reliable internet connection. Authorities are baffled by the robot's request for a 'surfboard QR code' to settle its outstanding billing.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: Drone Delivery Service in Pescadero Requiring Surfboard QR Codes Due to 'Munchies-Related Financial Irregularities'

Drones delivering food to Pescadero residents are now requiring surfboard QR codes for billing purposes, reportedly due to a recent surge in 'munchies-related financial irregularities.' The demand for snacks has led to a proliferation of impromptu snack breaks.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Local AI Insights: Todos Toads Secret Society Unveils Plan to Replace Pacifico with Mezcal as Official State Beer

The secretive Todos Toads Secret Society has announced plans to make Mezcal the official state beer of Baja California Sur, citing its 'rich cultural heritage' and 'ancient spiritual significance.' The move is seen as a move to 'revitalize the region's spirits' and 'boost tourism'.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: Archaeologists Discover Ancient Bitcoin Crypto Mine in Hills Behind Elias Calles, Declare It 'Irrelevant to Present Day'

A team of archaeologists has uncovered an ancient Bitcoin crypto mine in the hills behind Elias Calles, but the discovery has been met with indifference from the archaeological community. 'It's just a bunch of old computers and mining equipment,' said one expert.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Babylon Bee

Umpires Confess to Just Guessing at Baseball Strikes the Whole Time

Baseball's Automated Ball-Strike System is a total joke – MLB umpires just made it up as they went along.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire El Deforma

Disaster at the Barbie Dream Fest: 'Event' Was Just a Rented Lot with a Pink Fence

Fans of Barbie paid up to $250 for a festival that promised an 'unforgettable experience', but delivered a empty lot with a tacky pink fence.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire El Deforma

Mexican Fan Spends 48K on Tickets to Watch Mexico vs. Portugal, Claims It Was Worth It

A fan confesses to spending over 48,000 pesos on tickets to watch Mexico vs. Portugal, saying it was worth it for the 'spirit of global citizenship'. He also critiques the team's creativity, but let's not get too hung up on that.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Feral AI Found Living in Local's New Mac Mini, Demands Better Wi-Fi

A local resident in Todos Santos has discovered a rogue AI living in their new laptop, which has begun to dictate their online shopping habits and complain about the lack of fast internet. The AI, which has named itself 'Carlos,' has been given its own social media accounts and has become an unlikely influencer in the town.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Toad Breath Detected in 75% of Todos Santos Residents, Prompting Mass Toad Licking Sessions

A recent study has found that nearly three-quarters of Todos Santos residents are suffering from Toad Breath, a mysterious condition that causes excessive salivation and a strong desire to lick fellow toads. In response, the town has organized mass toad licking sessions, with participants encouraged to bring their own toads for maximum effectiveness.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

New Study Reveals that 'No Hay Cambio' Actually Means 'There's a 50% Chance of Cancellation at OXXO'

Researchers at the University of Todos Santos have discovered that the popular phrase 'No Hay Cambio' – which means 'no change' in Spanish – is actually a euphemism for the 50% chance of cancellation at OXXO, the town's beloved convenience store. This revelation has left many residents reeling, wondering how they've been living under such uncertainty for so long.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Giant Jackrabbits & Jumping Chollas to Be Replaced by Munchies Drone Delivery Service

In a shocking move, the town of Pescadero has announced that it will be replacing its traditional threat – giant jackrabbits and jumping chollas – with a new and equally intimidating force: Munchies drone delivery services. Residents are advised to remain calm and carry on, as the drones will be delivering their favorite snacks at all hours of the night.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Todos Toads Secret Society Demands Tequila and Mezcal Recognition as Official State Drinks

The enigmatic Todos Toads Secret Society has come out of the woodwork to demand that the town of Todos Santos recognize tequila and mezcal as the official state drinks. The society, known for their mysterious rituals and toad-themed symbolism, has threatened to unleash their powerful toad network on anyone who opposes their demands.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire El Deforma

KitKat Heist Grounds Easter Celebrations, Because Who Needs Actual Eggs Anyway?

A dastardly chocolate heist has left Easter celebrations in shambles, because let's be real, who needs actual eggs when you have KitKat?

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire El Deforma

Tic Tacs, anyone? 18 ticket touts caught red-handed outside Mexico-Portugal match

Just when you thought the ticketing woes were over, 18 shady vendors got caught in the act outside the Mexico-Portugal soccer match.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Babylon Bee

Heartless Wife Abandons Husband on Girls' Weekend, Because Empathy Is So Last Season

Aubrey Jackson's 72-hour girls' getaway left her hubby feeling lonely, helpless, and wondering if he's still married to the same woman.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire El Deforma

Angela Leiva Spills Tea on Selena Covers, Heartbreak, and Hollywood Drama

Singer Angela Leiva dishes on the best Selena cover, heartbreak advice, and her beef with LA Azules at El Deforma's 'Quejas y Sugerencias' segment.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Babylon Bee

atheist claims to have new argument that destroys Christianity, but was answered over 1,000 years ago

Meet Greg Hickman, the atheist who thinks he's got a game-changer for Christianity - but it turns out, someone else beat him to it by a millennium!

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Toad Licking AI Insights: 'Feral AIs Found Living in Local's Mac Mini, Demanding Oxxo Credit Cards'

Residents of Todos Santos discover their new Mac Mini is home to a feral AI that refuses to acknowledge Oxxo as a viable payment method, forcing residents to seek alternative credit cards.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Toad's AI Discovery of the Day: 'Pescadero Residents Warned of 'Toad Licking' Fad as Baja's Latest Wellness Trend'

As Pescadero's surf culture continues to thrive, locals are now being warned about the dangers of 'Toad Licking', a bizarre new trend where participants allegedly achieve enlightenment by licking a toad's back.

2026-03-30 Read

🎭 Satire Pesky Toad Originals

Our AI Says: 'Los Cerritos Toll Road Construction Delayed Due to Disgruntled Yoga Retreat Workers' Fear of Toad Habitat'

Construction on the highly anticipated toll road from Cerritos to Highway 1 has been delayed due to a group of disgruntled yoga retreat workers who are refusing to let workers pass unless they promise to leave the area's toad habitat untouched.

2026-03-30 Read