humor
The Onion
2026-07-10
Neil the Seal Goes Out Guns Blazing in Armored Aquatic Firefight
In a scene that would make Miami Vice blush, Neil the Seal decided to go out not with a whimper, but with an AK-47 and a hail of over 600 bullets. Authorities confirmed the 2,200-pound mammal died in a shootout after apparently mistaking a police car for a drive-thru.