Back to Humor Feed
humor The Onion 2026-07-10

Neil the Seal Goes Out Guns Blazing in Armored Aquatic Firefight

In a scene that would make Miami Vice blush, Neil the Seal decided to go out not with a whimper, but with an AK-47 and a hail of over 600 bullets. Authorities confirmed the 2,200-pound mammal died in a shootout after apparently mistaking a police car for a drive-thru.

Support Your Local Toad

The Pesky Toad is free and ad-light. If you find it useful, toss a few pesos in the tip jar to help keep the servers running and the satire flowing.

$

MXN · Minimum $10