humor
The Hard Times
2026-07-02
Ken Paxton Leads Polls Among Texas's Chainsaw-Wielding Cannibal Faction
Ken Paxton is reportedly crushing it in the polls among Texas's cannibalistic, chainsaw-wielding, human skin-mask-wearing voters. Apparently, his opponent's talk of decency and veganism is a real turn-off for the folks who enjoy human meat barbeques and the prospect of another Dust Bowl.