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humor The Onion 2026-06-29

Stars Reveal Summer Plans: From 'Politicizing Popsicles' to 'Evading Authorities'

Celebrities are sharing their scintillating summer plans, ranging from Sabrina Carpenter reading books on her car (safely, of course) to Mr. Beast attempting to outrun the law. Meanwhile, Selena Gomez is busy telling us our lives are meaningless.

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