humor
The Shovel
2026-06-25
Olympics Invents 'Hydration Break' for 100m Sprint; Athletes Can Now Thirst Trap Mid-Race.
In a move inspired by FIFA (obviously), the IOC has added mandatory 'hydration breaks' to the 100m sprint, proving that even the fastest humans can't outrun Big Pharma's sponsorship opportunities. Get ready for three-minute ad breaks during a race that's over in ten seconds.