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humor The Onion 2026-06-24

Giannis Thanks Bucks Fans For Not Eating Him; Hopes Miami is Less Ravenous

In a move that stunned absolutely no one who understands sports fans, Giannis Antetokounmpo has thanked Milwaukee for not consuming him whole during his tenure. He now flees to Miami, hoping their heat cures their insatiable desire to dine on his 6'11" frame.

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