While the Baja surf is pumping and all I care about is the next set, those poor Europeans are melting. The French government, in a move of bureaucratic genius, has decided to fight a record-breaking heatwave by banning alcohol at the Fête de la Musique festival and shuttering the Eiffel Tower. Apparently, when the sun gets too spicy, the only logical solution is to prohibit joy and lock up national treasures. It's almost as if they think the heat is personally offended by dancing and a good rosé. Who needs a cool drink when you can just… not have one?