The PettiChat, a Kickstarter marvel, guarantees a 94.6% accurate translation of your pet's deepest thoughts. Our Todos Santos dog whisperers are already convinced their pampered pooches are delivering profound insights, not just demanding more organic kibble. Prepare for your cat to inform you, in real-time, that your attempts at affection are utterly beneath its dignity. Money well spent, apparently, to confirm your pet thinks you're just the hired help.