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humor The Onion 2026-06-18

Pride By The Numbers: A Statistical Celebration of Rainbows and Revelry

Pride events are in full swing, and the numbers don't lie! Expect a 120,000% surge in nipple tassels, floats hitting a blistering 16.3 mph, and moms valiantly trying to support while hating the music. Plus, a surprising number of exes and strategically consumed fast food.

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