Forget the State of the Union address; the future of American policy is now settled by throwing political opponents into a cage on the lawn. It’s the perfect blend of governance and primal bloodlust we all saw coming.

<img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6a319f7cca9926a319f7cca993.jpg" style="width: 100%;" width="400" /><p>The UFC Freedom 250 event to celebrate President Donald Trump's birthday (and also for America's 250th birthday, kind of) was a massive success. That means one thing — more bloody, violent fights on the White House lawn. Through highly placed White House insiders, The Babylon Bee has obtained an exclusive sneak peek at future matches.</p>