In a bold move to ensure true equality, the party has committed to making sure that having more than three nickels to your name is strictly prohibited by law. Elon Musk’s new trillionaire status is apparently the final straw, forcing them to treat success like an invasive species that must be swiftly eradicated.

<img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6a316b127ca406a316b127ca41.jpg" style="width: 100%;" width="400" /><p>WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of Elon Musk officially becoming the world's first confirmed trillionaire, leaders of the Democratic Party pledged to never stop fighting as long as anyone in America is still allowed to be successful.</p>