Researchers warn that unless men find someone to text 'GOAT' to while listening to Harvest Moon, the entire demographic is heading for a lonely, acoustic breakdown.

<p>NEW YORK—Warning that millions of men aged 35 and older would be left utterly adrift following the traumatic loss, researchers at Columbia University published a study Monday that revealed the majority of middle-aged men in the United States lacked the support network they would need to handle singer-songwriter Neil Young’s death. “It’s deeply concerning that [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/study-majority-of-middle-aged-men-lack-support-network-theyll-need-to-handle-ne...