White House Cage Match: Vance and Rubio Fight for Trump’s Birthday Approval
In a display of statesmanship only a toad could find funny, the GOP’s finest are trading policy papers for MMA submissions to satisfy their boss’s geriatric birthday wish. It's truly comforting to know the world’s most powerful nation is now governed by the rules of the octagon.
<p>WASHINGTON D.C. – As part of the UFC Freedom 250 match, President Donald J. Trump’s demanded an 80th birthday present to himself which saw Vice President JD Vance and Secretary of State Marco Rubio compete in mixed martial arts combat for the crowd’s amusement. “Ground and pound, Little Marco! Ground and pound!” shouted the commander […]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/06/vance-rubio-compete-in-white-house-ufc-undercard/" rel="nof...