Biblical scholars have finally cracked the case: Daniel didn't survive on prayer alone, but on the ancient equivalent of a cat-obsessed tech startup's laser pointer. It turns out the fiercest beasts in history were just one red dot away from turning into oversized, purring house kittens.

<img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6a2f001f23b5b6a2f001f23b5c.jpg" style="width: 100%;" width="400" /><p>U.S. - Leading scholars believe that the angel who saved Daniel in the lion's den used a red laser pointer to distract the vicious cats.</p>