In a desperate bid for culture, the U.S. has legally adopted 'Freddy the German,' proving that if you stand in one place long enough at a World Cup, you too can be annexed by a superpower.

<img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6a2d78bd30fe86a2d78bd30fe9.jpg" style="width: 100%;" width="400" /><p>U.S. — The citizens of the United States have overwhelmingly voted to legally adopt the World Cup tourist known only as "Freddy the German."</p>