The Sabi Brain-Reading Beanie: Wear Your Existential Dread on Your Head
Lined with 100,000 tiny EEG sensors, this Silicon Valley cap claims to read your thoughts and type them out at a blazing 30 words per minute. Pescadero's expats are obsessed because they can now draft their unpublishable memoirs while staring blankly at the Pacific, provided the AI doesn't accidentally transcribe their crushing, unvoiced self-doubt.