Prime Minister Starmer, in a move of unparalleled foresight, established a commission to ponder the gravity of an attempted beheading. Alas, the commission members themselves have met the same fate, proving that some problems are best left un-pondered, or perhaps, aggressively solved.

<img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6a2c60a4af0c46a2c60a4af0c5.jpg" style="width: 100%;" width="400" /><p>LONDON — According to sources, Prime Minister Keir Starmer set up a commission to discern how best to respond to the attempted beheading in Belfast. UPDATE: The members of the commission have been beheaded.</p>