In a shocking report confirmed by 'multiple industry insiders' (read: himself), NBA insider Shams Charania has 'broken the news' that he is utterly alone. He's now looking for 'acquaintanceship structures,' proving that even breaking news can't get you a date.

<p>CHICAGO—Having confirmed the shocking development with numerous top-level sources, a depressed Shams Charania broke the news Thursday that he has absolutely no one. “Per multiple industry insiders, I can confirm that I’ve driven away everyone who ever cared about me in this world, and now I’m all alone with my miserable self,” the dejected, unshaven NBA [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/depressed-shams-charania-breaks-scoop-that-he-has-no-one/">Depressed Shams Charania B...