Breaking news: A jury has decided that randomly stabbing people in the heart is, shockingy, not a great idea. The nation collectively gasps, wondering what other outrageous behaviors might be frowned upon next.

<img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6a286bc6771e96a286bc6771ea.jpg" style="width: 100%;" width="400" /><p>UNITED STATES — The nation was in a state of shock on Thursday as a jury in Texas ruled that you can't just stab someone in the heart for no reason at all.</p>