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humor The Onion 2026-06-09

Greek Custodian Claims Former Life As Demigod, Now Just Does Labors.

Apparently, life as a minor deity on Mount Olympus wasn't all ambrosia and golden mansions. This Greek custodian swapped his divine robes for a mop, lamenting that his past involves rubbing elbows with Muses while his present involves scraping gum off desks. At least the cafeteria snacks are divine, right?


<p>TENAFLY, NJ—According to Roosevelt Elementary custodian Thanasis Danielopoulos, faculty and staff at the school are often surprised when they learn that back in his home country of Greece, he was a demigod. “People are usually shocked when I tell them my mom was a maiden and my dad was a rain god who took the form [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/greek-custodian-used-to-be-demigod-back-in-home-country/">Greek Custodian Used To Be Demigod Back In Home Country</a> appeare...

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