In a shocking revelation, medical professionals have declared that your fancy air fryer, while excellent for achieving peak Brussels sprout crispiness, is a woefully inadequate substitute for actual human connection. Apparently, those perfectly golden chicken nuggets can't hold your hand during tough times or engage in meaningful conversation.

<p>BALTIMORE—Responding to widespread proliferation of the technology in Americans’ daily lives, doctors at Johns Hopkins University warned Thursday that air fryers should not be considered an adequate substitute for human companionship. “An air fryer can be a powerful and reliable tool, but it’s no replacement for genuine interactions with other human beings,” said psychiatrist Lisa McDougan, [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/doctors-warn-air-fryers-not-a-substitute-for-hu...