In a shocking turn of events, the Chicago Bears are packing their bags, as the city's entire population, including players, coaches, and fans, have met a rather abrupt end. Apparently, Chicago's streets are a bit too 'drive-by' friendly for football.

<img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6a2402ff7ea8d6a2402ff7ea8e.jpg" style="width: 100%;" width="400" /><p>CHICAGO, IL - The Chicago Bears organization announced today that it will be relocating out of the city due to all of its players and fans having been killed in drive-bys.</p>