Forget health concerns, Trump's physical revealed he's basically a superhero! At 9 feet tall, 35 years old, and capable of levitation and pyrokinesis, he's not just president, he's a mythical creature.

<p>WASHINGTON—Assuring Americans that a routine medical exam had confirmed the president had no pressing health concerns, Capt. Sean Barbabella, the director of the White House Medical Unit, claimed Wednesday that Donald Trump was a perfectly healthy 9-foot-tall 35-year-old. “After concluding his physical, I can say with confidence that President Trump exhibits normal vitals for a [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/white-house-doctor-claims-trump-a-perfectly-healthy-9-foot-t...