In a move that will shock absolutely no one, Donald Trump has established an $88 billion fund for any man who's ever been told 'no' by a woman. Apparently, documenting dating app rejection is now grounds for a presidential bailout.

<p>WASHINGTON—Declaring the money long overdue compensation for some of the nation&#8217;s most persecuted individuals, President Donald Trump announced an $88 billion fund Tuesday specifically appropriated to any man ever rejected by a woman. &#8220;At long last, there will be justice for every man in America who was very unfairly told no,&#8221; said the president, noting [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/trump-launches-88-billion-fund-for-anyone-who-has-ever-been-rejecte...