His Holiness Pope Leo XIV has graced us with a 60,000-word encyclical detailing the dire perils of Disney's Star Wars strategy, comparing it to a 'new Tower of Babel.' He's particularly concerned about the franchise losing its way and fears for humanity's moviegoing souls.

<p>VATICAN CITY—Lambasting the “muddled” plotlines of the post-Lucas era in a staggering 60,000 words, Pope Leo XIV released a new encyclical Friday on the perils of Disney’s Star Wars strategy. “The Star Wars franchise, created by God in all its grandeur, is today facing a pivotal choice: either to construct a new Tower of Babel [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/pope-releases-encyclical-on-perils-of-disneys-star-wars-strategy/">Pope Releases Encyclical On Perils Of Disney’...