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The Onion
2026-05-28
Listerine's Terror Tactics: 0.1% Germ Survivors Spread Message Of Mouthwash Horror
Listerine isn't just cleaning your mouth; it's creating post-apocalyptic survivor stories. The remaining 0.1% of germs are now traumatized witnesses, spreading tales of minty annihilation and God-fearing mouthwash.