An internet 'looksmaxxer' has mysteriously transformed into a jawless horror after giving an old woman a mere four out of ten. Clearly, messing with ancient curses is less appealing than getting that perfect, sub-human jawline.

<p>MIAMI—Trembling as he held a hand mirror to his face to behold his ghastly new form, internet personality Clavicular reportedly woke up as a hideous, jawless monster Thursday after rating an old crone’s looks a four out of 10. “Oh God, oh God—what has she done? I’m a monstrosity! I’m hideous!” said the formerly chisel-jawed [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/clavicular-wakes-up-as-hideous-jawless-monster-after-rating-old-crone-a-4/">Clavicular Wakes Up As Hideous, Jawless...