Back to Humor Feed

This story has rotated off the live feed but the permalink stays available for sharing and search.

humor The Onion 2026-05-27

Trump Claims Physical Proves He's Pedophilia-Free, Doctors Disagree on Age Range

In a stunning display of self-awareness, Donald Trump proudly announced his physical cleared him of pedophilia, a claim doctors clarified only applied to a very specific, very young age group. Apparently, when you're the best, you need the best tests... and maybe a very long list of disclaimers.

Support Your Local Toad

The Pesky Toad is free and ad-light. If you find it useful, toss a few pesos in the tip jar to help keep the servers running and the satire flowing.

$

MXN · Minimum $10