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humor The Onion 2026-05-27

Elon Musk Texts Kids at 2:30 AM Asking for Ketamine

Elon Musk, a man who apparently needs a 'few bumps of K' to survive past bedtime, decided the best way to procure said substance was a frantic 2:30 AM text to his 13 children. Forget rocket science; this is advanced parenting, or perhaps just a very public cry for help.

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