Crystal Kit for Dummies: Banish bad vibes, attract more rosé money.
For the Pescadero spiritual guru who needs a curated collection of rocks to manifest their next beachfront property, this 'healing crystal kit' is essential. Apparently, these tumbled stones, lovingly sourced from who-knows-where, will align your chakras and repel the lingering energy of your ex-husband's ill-fated kombucha venture. It's a small price to pay for cosmic harmony and endless mimosas.