Senator Chuck Schumer opted for a solo Memorial Day this year, likely because his previous year's guests were too busy fighting off E. coli from his 'award-winning' raw burgers. Apparently, 'food poisoning' is his new interpretation of a 'killer' party.

<img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6a14aee42445e6a14aee42445f.jpg" style="width: 100%;" width="400" /><p>WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senator Chuck Schumer reportedly spent Memorial Day alone with his thoughts after having killed all of his backyard barbecue guests the previous year by serving them raw hamburger beef infected with E. coli.</p>