Simple-minded bumpkins from Peach Creek, KY, swear they mean no harm to nobody, just minding their own business. Their declaration was briefly interrupted by an urgent need for assistance with stuck pig-slop buckets.

<p>PEACH CREEK, KY—Taking an opportunity to firmly reiterate their stance that it weren&#8217;t their intention, America&#8217;s simple-minded bumpkins issued a joint statement Monday confirming they don&#8217;t mean no harm to nobody. “We don’t wish no ill ’pon nobody, no sir,” said bumpkin spokesperson Billy Lee “Bubba” Toddums, his beefy hands limp in the pockets of [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/nations-simple-minded-bumpkins-announce-they-dont-mean-no-harm-to-nobody...