A local student council treasurer's ethical compass spun wildly after acquiring $52 in singles, proving that even small fortunes can lead to grandiose fantasies and intense dollar-bill face-rubbing. The pizza budget is reportedly in crisis.

<p>SUN PRAIRIE, WI—Struggling feebly against the temptation to abandon the ethical standards he swore to uphold upon his election to the position, local student council treasurer Grayson Burner’s deepest convictions were reportedly tested Thursday after he obtained access to $52 in singles. “Let’s not do anything too hasty—this kind of money doesn’t come along every [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/student-council-treasurers-deepest-convictions-tested-by-access-to-52-in-si...