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humor The Beaverton 2026-05-21

Parents Rejoice: 18-Year, $300,000 Financial Black Hole Now Officially Open For Business!

In a move that surprised absolutely no one who's ever met a baby, new parents Felicity and Ivan have enthusiastically embraced their newest venture: an 18-year, $300,000 investment with a guaranteed abysmal return. They're calling it 'Jody,' and experts predict it'll drain their resources faster than a tourist during high season.

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