In a move that surprised absolutely no one who's ever met a baby, new parents Felicity and Ivan have enthusiastically embraced their newest venture: an 18-year, $300,000 investment with a guaranteed abysmal return. They're calling it 'Jody,' and experts predict it'll drain their resources faster than a tourist during high season.

<p>Elora, ON ― First-time parents Felicity and Ivan Jennings welcomed an enormous waste of time, money, and effort into the world yesterday, which they refer to as their “son,” or Jody. Friends of the temporarily happy couple report that Felicity is doing well and getting some rest, the last she will get for eighteen years, [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/05/new-parents-celebrate-beginning-of-18-year-300-000-failed-investment/" rel="nofollow">New parents cele...