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humor The Onion 2026-05-19

Gym's Ass Print Fades, Proving All Our Efforts Are Futile

In a profound existential crisis for gym-goers, the sweaty imprint of someone's posterior on a rowing machine has already vanished, serving as a poignant metaphor for the ephemeral nature of life. Sources confirmed that the fleeting butt-shaped stain is a stark reminder that all our earthly endeavors, much like a brief posterior impression, will eventually fade into the void. So go ahead, hit that extra rep; it all ends up the same.

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