Local patriarch, Robert Palacios, has apparently discovered a revolutionary method of rising from his chair: the ancient art of 'the wiggle-rock.' Witness the sheer power and gravitational force required for this Herculean effort!

<p>HENDERSON, NV—In an effort to rise to his feet from the seated position, local dad Robert Palacios was reportedly rocking back and forth Monday to gain enough momentum to sit up from his chair. According to several reports, the 73-year-old used the mass of his large belly like a pendulum&#8217;s counterweight as he oscillated to [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/dad-rocks-back-and-forth-to-gain-enough-momentum-to-sit-up-from-chair/">Dad Rocks Back And Forth To Gain Enoug...