Local hero Derek Nolan has generously renewed his gym membership, preparing for the glorious day he magically transforms into a healthy adult. He's simply ahead of the curve, ensuring no Dorito-fueled YouTube binges interrupt his spontaneous adoption of self-respect and resistance bands.

<p>PHILADELPHIA — Local man Derek Nolan reportedly renewed his gym membership Monday on the off-chance that he suddenly becomes a completely different... <a class="font-medium" href="https://thehardtimes.net/culture/man-renews-gym-membership-on-off-chance-he-becomes-completely-different-fucking-person/" style="color: #3eb565;">Continue this tale</a></p> <p>The post <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/culture/man-renews-gym-membership-on-off-chance-he-becomes-completely-different-fucking-person/">M...