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humor The Daily Mash 2026-05-15

Heist Mastermind's Biggest Concern: Does the Loot Come with a Free Holdall?

After successfully liberating Β£2 million in cash, a criminal mastermind is more preoccupied with the etiquette of keeping the duffel bag than with actual prison time. He worries about brand loyalty and fears arriving at his getaway vehicle with a less-than-intimidating Waitrose shopping bag.


<span style="font-weight: 400;">A CRIMINAL taking delivery of Β£2 million in cash from a heist in order to launder it is wondering if he can keep the bag or bags it comes in.</span> <p><strong>A CRIMINAL taking delivery of Β£2 million in cash from a heist is wondering if he can keep the bag it comes in.</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">With the handover arranged to take place in a warehouse on an industrial estate in Essex, Steve Malley is worried about the correct etiquette for wha...

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