Philip Bauer, channeling his inner Genghis Khan, gazed upon his kingdom of lawn with the satisfaction of a conqueror. His quest for driveway-free watering has finally been achieved, a victory for all humanity.

<img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6a049fe08cd3a6a049fe08cd3b.jpg" style="width: 100%;" width="400" /><p>OGDEN, UT — As the great Khan once stood admiring the vast reaches of his empire, so local man Philip Bauer stood this morning, watching as his freshly-repaired sprinkler no longer watered the driveway.</p>