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humor The Onion 2026-05-12

Celtics Attempt to Recruit Giannis by Declaring Payton Pritchard His Newly Discovered Brother.

In a bold, albeit desperate, move, the Boston Celtics announced that Payton Pritchard is now Giannis Antetokounmpo's long-lost brother, hoping to lure the star player. They've even claimed first cousins Sam Hauser and Luka Garza are on the roster, just in case family ties are the key to championship dreams.


<p>BOSTON—In an effort to entice Giannis Antetokounmpo to join the franchise, the Boston Celtics announced Tuesday that guard Payton Pritchard was now the two-time MVP&#8217;s brother. “We understand it would be difficult for Giannis to leave Thanasis and Alex behind in Milwaukee, but we want him to know his beloved brother Payton is already right [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/celtics-attempt-to-lure-giannis-by-announcing-payton-pritchard-his-brother-now/">Celtics Attem...

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