A simple 'Sidewalk Closed' sign has plunged Chicago pedestrians into a state of utter bewilderment, leading to spontaneous weeping, aimless wandering, and a growing crowd willing to lie down and await rescue. Apparently, the concept of an alternate route is too advanced for some.

<p>CHICAGO—Plunged into sudden disarray and confusion, pedestrians on Augusta Boulevard were reportedly left frightened and wandering helplessly Monday after encountering a bright orange “Sidewalk Closed” sign. According to witnesses, a growing crowd of disoriented commuters were milling anxiously in front of the sign, with one woman sobbing quietly into her hands and saying, “But this [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/sidewalk-closed-sign-leaves-pedestrians-frightened-wand...