Witness the 'Artisanal Avocado Pit Re-Grower' – a crowdfunding marvel designed to turn your discarded avocado pits into... well, more avocado pits, but with a 'hand-curated spiritual connection.' It's confused, underfunded, and utterly pointless, perfectly embodying the entrepreneurial spirit of someone with too much free time and a trust fund. Clearly, it's aimed at the Todos Santos crowd who already compost their artisanally-sourced organic kale stems but need to feel even *more* sustainable while generating zero edible fruit.