Why bother with actual medicine when Etsy offers a 'Banish Illness Spell' to 'cleanse body, remove sickness, and heal aura'? Our enlightened Pescadero residents, too busy with their yoga retreats and chakra alignments, will flock to this, convinced their ailments are merely bad vibes from that one rude waiter. For a mere fee, your energy ritual promises recovery boost, because who needs antibiotics when you have 'spiritual health restoration'?