Back to Humor Feed

This story has rotated off the live feed but the permalink stays available for sharing and search.

humor The Hard Times 2026-05-11

Hamburger Helper Glove Confesses to Partying with Questionable Mascots on Epstein's Island

Lefty, the Hamburger Helper glove, has spilled the beans on a wild party scene involving food mascots and Epstein, admitting to a lifestyle of 'blow and massages.' Meanwhile, the Pillsbury Doughboy is ready to dish dirt on everyone, from Tony the Tiger to Chef Boyardee, for a sweetheart deal.

Support Your Local Toad

The Pesky Toad is free and ad-light. If you find it useful, toss a few pesos in the tip jar to help keep the servers running and the satire flowing.

$

MXN · Minimum $10