Our AI Says: Carlos Beltrán's Cabo Visit Unearths Ancient Bitcoin Mine, Powered by Mystified Toad Lickers.
Rumors suggest the former baseball star accidentally stumbled upon a subterranean operation where spiritual expats are paid in 'digital blessings' for participating in the 'Licked Toad Green Flash Ritual' to power the antiquated servers. Local officials are investigating if this counts as 'taxable enlightenment'.